Feeling broken-hearted after a breakup or at worst after being friend zoned is such a tremendous emotional pain to some individuals. It will leave you feeling lifeless and unwanted, as doubt starts to take over leaving questions if you deserve to be hurt after all. Your insecurities will also start to come out one by one, and this could sometimes lead to isolation, dragging your whole body to stay in bed and do nothing because you think that no matter what you do, you are still broken hearted.
“When your brain conceptualizes that your partner is no longer with you, grief sets in,” said therapist Travis McNulty, LMHC. “Your mind no longer releases the feel-good chemicals (oxytocin and dopamine) that it once released every time you saw this person.”
Version 2.0 of Yourself
I also had my fair share of the excruciating pain of a breakup, wherein I got depressed to the point of telling myself that I am not that good looking enough to be loved by someone or maybe weighing 60 kilos is not lovable at all. Total self-destructive thoughts made me feel so low, and at the same time frustrated. Despite the pain, I have no one to vent out my feelings with. During that time, all I know was I needed to have an outlet for the pain I was dealing with because anytime soon I could reach my breaking point.
“Stressful life events, like a break-up, produce a variety of depressive-like symptoms that can be difficult to manage,” said Theresa DiDonato, Ph.D. “While exercise may do little to curb your feelings of stress, the physical activity may buffer your depressive symptoms—an important step towards recovery.”
Then I started doing some exercise routine as my catharsis. I started doing morning runs from a lame 1-kilometer to an overwhelming 10-kilometers run at least three times a week. Surprisingly, day by day I felt better as I started to see my old self slowly coming back to life. I began to lose weight and felt lighter. I was happy with the result of my morning runs.
Licensed counselor and professor Suzanne Degges-White, Ph.D., wrote, “The best way to stop dwelling on heartache is to throw yourself into activities that keep you busy and engaged in the world. Research shows that one of the best self-help treatments for depression is physical exercise. Exercise produces endorphins and serotonin, which both promote a positive outlook.”
While engrossed in my running, I realized that I shouldn’t be doing such a thing because I was trying to let go of the pain. Instead, I should be doing that for myself. It was a blessing in disguise that this break up occurred because I have come to realize that I should love myself even more. That time, all I know was that I need to lose weight to improve my appearance and retaliation for getting hurt. However, I was wrong. I realized that I should be doing this for myself, and not for anyone else. I thought I was healing my heart, but I was recovering and giving myself what it truly deserves, which is self-love and respect.
It’s Only The Beginning
Running has helped me feel better about myself, as soon as started losing weight; I tried learning Muay Thai and started to play badminton again. That made me feel happy because aside from losing 10kilos, my happiness got back in full swing. Also, I was no longer thinking of getting back to the person who broke my heart because I realized that I gained more than losing him.
Making me whole again is more than enough. I am thankful that I did not give up on myself and gave myself a second chance. I am grateful that I turned into exercise than letting myself suffer in pain, which I do not deserve at all; because the value of my life is worth more than any pain that I might experience. Now, I am already backed in shape – physically and emotionally. I can finally say that I am a better version of myself because I chose to love myself instead of mending my broken heart.