Often, jealousy becomes a woman’s middle name. This may sound funny or a bit absurd, but this is the typical scenarios that we encounter every day. Jealousy, if appropriately managed, can bring a positive effect in a relationship. It spices up the relationship making couples realize how much they mean to each other. It is even sometimes used as a way of showing how much love you have for your partner.
“Jealousy can highlight what you value–your relationship,” said psychologist and author Elizabeth Lombardo, PhD.
When Jealousy Gone Wrong
When paranoia and insecurities get in the way of jealousy, it creates a dangerous relationship problem.
Robert L. Leahy, PhD, wrote, “Similar to other forms of worry, jealousy leads us to focus only on the negative. We interpret our partner’s behavior as reflecting a loss of interest in us or a growing interest in someone else.”
Case in point was the experience of my friend and her husband.
Coming into their youth, they are both good looking. Our friends even call them as “fitness and relationship goals inspiration.” But their relationship went rock bottom when my friend gave birth, wherein her physical attributes of being slim and toned started to fade away. Pregnancy contributed many changes to her physical appearance that made her feel embarrassed about herself.
“Jealousy breeds doubt, and when doubt enters a relationship, insecurity often follows,” wrote Suzanne Degges-White, PhD.
She began to feel insecure and paranoid about her husband, thinking that he might no longer find her appealing because of her weight. The situation did not sit well with her. Instead of talking things out to her husband, she became suspicious of her husband that he might be seeing another woman, which eventually lead to endless arguments.
A Happy Wife is a Happy Life
Despite the bizarre attitude of her wife, the husband tried to understand what’s going on with his wife. He knew that she might be having a difficult time adjusting to her post-pregnancy body that is why she feels bad about herself.
Good thing, her husband was matured enough to tolerate her attitude and make sure about his wife jealous acts he intentionally allowed his wife to view all his social media accounts. He noticed and felt that his wife feels she is no longer likable.
The husband felt terrible about it, so he decided to bring back the cheerful aura of his wife. He confronted his wife that he sees nothing wrong with her figure. An official and personal confirmation of love with no boundaries are all that matters.
But to make sure that she will never feel insecure about her body, he told his wife that they would do work out together. At first, the wife took it negatively. For her, it just confirmed her belief that she indeed was fat and not pleasant to the eyes of her husband. Fortunately, he was able to appease the adverse reaction of his wife and later on agreed to exercise together.
Since then, the wife started to regain her confidence and became more thoughtful towards her husband. She also began to enjoy motherhood and became more caring for their daughter. The husband felt happy about his decision to help her wife redeem her confidence through exercising, and this time with a gym-buddy-husband.
After about two months, his wife started to lose weight significantly. Recognizing the significant changes, she thanked her husband for not giving up on her immaturity – instead, he has helped her overcome her emotional and physical insecurities. She enjoyed working out with her husband and never thought that this would be a significant activity for couples and a relationship goal as well. They both realized that doing exercise together is like overcoming the trials in their relationship as one.
In case your marriage is on the rocks, and you are both not ready to see a counselor in person, you are always welcome to visit BetterHelp. Licensed therapists can answer any of your worries and help you resolve them so that you won’t need to resort to extreme measures ever.